So…my last living grandparent passed away on Thursday, April 9, 2015, and I feel absolutely lost. It was very difficult for me to see such a strong woman go downhill so quickly. My Granny Clemmons was 92 years old, and she was one of the strongest women I’ve ever known in my life. I’ve been trying so hard to work on my writing, and I’m just too emotionally exhausted to function right now. All my creativity just seems to be gone. It’s like her death turned my soul into a sieve and my creativity seeped out. Everything is tired: mind, heart, body, and soul. It’s like my mind is in a stall pattern due to grief or something.
The odd thing about it is that I was more prepared for this death than I have been for any other in my life, but it still hurts. I’m glad that my Granny isn’t suffering anymore, but there’s a very big hole in my life now. I just feel lost. There’s no other way to say it. It’s like everything that makes me who I am as a writer is out to lunch. I really hope it decides to come back soon because I have several books to finish.